There Is Only One Melanie Marquez


The former Miss International is back in Manila and has made her presence felt by just being herself. Interviewed by ABS CBN, she recounted her recent vehicular accident in the USA.

“…mabuti na lang ang dali-dali akong naagapan at naasikaso sa hospital kasi nakakatakot dahil pwede akong ma-parasite….”

Her interviewer corrected her: “…ma-paralyze…”

The one and only Melanie, realizing her boo-boo roared in laughter and said: “Oh my God… at least di ba Laughter is the great medicine!”

And am sure millions of Pinoys who watched that interview laughed with her. Ikaw na ged, Melanie! I love you so dearly!

To make your day, here’s a list of MELANISMs, straight from the horse’s mouth!

  • My brother is not a girl; he’s a gentleman.
  • That’s why I’m a success, it’s because I don’t middle in other people’s lives.
  • Don’t judge my brother; he’s not a book.
  • I won’t stoop down to my level.
  • Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you dep?
  • ‘Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya nakuha yan.
  • Eh, ikaw ba naman, durugin ang ari mo…Pag di ka naman manutok ng baril.
  • We are lovers, not fighters.
  • Kapatid ko pa rin siya. We are one and the same.
  • I don’t eat meat. I’m not a carnival.
  • Sumasakit ang migraine ko.
  • Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay!
  • I keep my crown in the voltage.
  • Can you repeat that for the second time around once more from the top?
  • I couldn’t care a damn!
  • What’s your next class before this?
  • Hello, my brother Joey is out of town, would you like to wait?
  • Don’t touch me not!
  • You! you’re not a boy anymore! You’re a man anymore!
  • Bakit ang dami mong tanong? You’re so questionable.
  • You can fool me once, you can fool me twice, you can fool me thrice. But you can never fool me FOUR!
  • Hindi ba kayo naawa sa kapatid ko…sa mga kwento nya? Di ba kayo na-PERSUAVE ng mga kwento niya? Hindi si Joey ang tipong mambubugbog ng babae…talaga lang malapit siya sa mga gulo…PRO-ACCIDENT kasi siya eh.
  • Boy Abunda: O Melanie, paano na ang showbiz career mo ngayong magmo-Mormon ka na?Melanie: Ah okay lang ‘yon Boy, kasi matagal na rin akong SEMI-RETARDED.
  • They should talk behind the scene…
  • (answering the phone) Hello. Wait a moment. Please hang yourself.
  • (before Christmas) Well, I want to spend my holidays with my family most probably out of place.
  • Why I will give my calling card, I’m not a call girl. (Her reply to a certain duke when the latter is asking for her calling card.)
  • Eto na po ang pinakamaligayang pasko at manigong taon sa inyong lahat. (During her acceptance speech at a Metro Filmfest awards night where her bioflick, directed by her late father Temyong Marquez, won an award.)
  • Period na talaga; wala nang exclamation point. (When asked on S-Files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr. Right)
  • And the base of my observation is… (showbiz stripped May 14 GMA Ch. 7)
  • At a talk show after her break-up with Derek Dee, Melanie was asked if she had some words for Derek’s mother (whom she partly blamed for the separation). “Oo nga,” said Melanie,“pero i-English-in ko para maintindihan niya.” She looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty, said, “And to you, Mrs. Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!
  • (When asked for a message to her daughter who was allegedly abused by their houseboy) Don’t worry little angel, big angel is here.
  • (On what they should do to the houseboy who molested her daughter) He should be put behind bar.
  • (While waiting backstage during a noontime show after watching Nikki Valdez do her dance number) Nikki, you’re so galing. You should go to the States. You will sell hotcakes!
  • (While she’s in Morning Girls With Kris & Korina promoting her movie with Aleck Bovick) Please watch HIRAM starring Aleck Baldwin (referring to Aleck Bovick) and myself. It’s DIRECTOR by Romy Suzara.
  • (After giving birth, and an interview on The Buzz) My answers have been prayered!
  • (To ex-flame Senator Lito Lapid) Hello…Huwag kang tumahol sa sarili mong bakuran noh! (In response to being misunderstood) You know, huwag kang tumahol like dogs.








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  1. oh my gad! graveh!! sige ko katawa dinhi ALONE! napanood ko nga ang “parasite” tawang tawa ako- she’s a living legend na buhay pa! haahahah

    thanks for making me so happy today sir orman.

  2. i really love how melanie laugh at her own mistakes and moved on as if nothing has happened…you represent me haha i love you melanie marquez !

  3. ang kulit ng melanisms :). Tawa kami ng tawa nito sa office. Normally maasar ka sa mga pinipilit mag english tas mali mali pero hindi sa kanya haha

  4. This is one for the books! Dame ko tawa!.. ang galing mo, Orman. Thanks for sharing this compilation.. Tinalo nya si Erap!

  5. Nice compilation 🙂 Sobrang nakakatuwa sya and hindi sya pikon. She knows that her grammar’s not that good but she’s full of confidence. I just sooo love Melanie!

  6. Hahahaha sumakit tiyan ko sa kakatawa. She’s really a living legend na buhay pa hahaha… Thank you for uploading this, I laugh, laugh, laugh and laugh early in the morning…

  7. This made my day! There’s nothing like good ole Filipino Humor. This reminded me of my old friends back home and how we would get a kick out of all this Melanisms ( much like Alma Moreno jokes back in the day).
    Jojo, Raleigh, NC, USA

    1. Melanie always brightens my day — this is not to demean her or anything — i admire her for being able to laugh at her own mistakes… thanks for visiting…

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