Jackie beat!
So young and sweet!

You know i’m getting older and i’ve gained some weight, too.
In my imagination i am just twenty-two.
I’m way too busy to do jenny, weight watchers, too.
The fast food is to blame, cholesterol through the roof.

If there’s a camera up in here, that’s taking photographs of me, then it’s true, that you.
Must sign this confidentiality agreement right here, telling you, what to do.
’cause if you run the pics you got without the use of photo shop, i will hunt you down!
’cause baby this is show business, nobody wants the truth.
Don’t even try it, this is my diet.

Retouch my body.
Sketch me some more.
Take off sixty pounds, then take of ten more.
Retouch my body.
Resize my head, clean up my skin.
Please tone done the red.
Retouch my body.
Lipo my thighs, with your computer mouse.
I’m as big as a house.
Retouch my body.
Remove every curve.
I’m going to the mall, to get a soft serve.

Give me a tiny waist, because i eat like a slob.
Remove a chin or two, and how’s about a nose job?
Erase under my eyes, where it is wrinkled and dark.
Your resume says that you worked on Jurassic park.

If there’s a camera up in here, that’s taking photographs of me, then it’s true, that you.
Must sign this confidentiality agreement to blood, or else you, will get sued.
’cause if i end up on perez hilton looking like a lez, i will hunt you down.
’cause baby this is show business, nobody wants the truth.
Don’t even try it, this is my diet.

Retouch my body.
Don’t wanna look tragic.
So call industrial, life and magic.
Retouch my body.
Make me look lean.
Like fat-ass Oprah, on “o” magazine.
Retouch my body.
Even at my tits.
And make sure this old couture size two fits.
Retouch my body.
Blur some more.
Come on and give me what i’m paying you for!
Retouch my body.

I just want some gummy bears.
I refuse to take the stairs.
Make me xxxxxxx young and sweet.
Get rid of my cellulite.
I don’t want no photo, boy.
I want to know you’re painting.

Retouch my body.
Don’t cause any trouble.
I am in denial.
Don’t you burst my bubble.
Retouch my body.
Just look at Madonna.
In real life she looks like an ancient iguana.
Retouch my body.
And if you can afford.
Try and make me look like less of a horse.
Retouch my body.
I know all the choice.
I only wish you could retouch my voice.

Retouch, retouch, retouch, retouch.
Retouch, retouch, retouch, retouch.
Retouch, retouch, retouch, retouch.
Retouch, retouch, retouch, retouch.
Retouch, retouch, retouch, retouch.

Retouch my xxxxxxx body!

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1. Body Fest Winners All
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3. The Official Candidates of the 2009 Body Fest Modeling Competition
4. So You Don’t Wanna Wear A Helmet, Eh?

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Tags: Jackie Beat, Mariah Carey, Spoof

This entry was posted on Friday, October 9th, 2009 at 12:00 AM and is filed under What Ever. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.