Maria Ortega-Manansala, 1926-2007
Lately, parati pumapasok sa isip ko si Mommy. She passed on in 2007. And each time na naiisip ko sya, there’s this sense of longing. Yun bang parang gusto mo syang kausapin at magsumbong ng kung ano-ano. I usually end up choking on my own laway trying to fight back the tears. Hay, I miss Mommy talaga. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko dahil andami kong panahong sinayang while she was still with us. Andaming beses that she wanted to sit down and just talk. And there I was, bisi-bisihan. Sabi nga nila nasa huli daw ang pagsisisi. I missed my Mom so much. Naiiyak ako while I’m writing this. Gusto ko lang kasing magkwento sa kanya ngayon. Magsumbong. Gusto kong nakikinig sya sa mga yabang ko. Tatawa lang yan si Mommy. Maluluha sa sobrang tawa. I never really embraced my Mom tightly. Ewan nga. Hindi naman kasi kami sinanay ng touchy-touchy, yakap-yakap, beso-beso ng mga magulang namin. Natutunan ko na lang maging touchy-feely on my own. Pero ngayon isa lang talaga ang hiling ko – ang mayakap ng mahigpit ang nanay ko and I want her to hug me back. Alam ko namang mahal ako ng nanay ko and that she’s proud of me. Sinasabi naman nya yun sakin. Pero hindi talaga nag-initiate ng yakap ang nanay ko. Kaya hindi ko rin sya niyayakap. I mean, hindi ako nag-iinitiate. Ngayon pag naaalala ko sya para akong tralala sa lungkot. Kung pwede nga lang ibalik ang panahon gagawin ko. Kaninang alas tres ng umaga, I got a text message from my Auntie Denia. Namatay na daw si Uncle Jessie. Ginising ko sina Kuya Avel and Mara. Kaya siguro nagpaparamdam si Mommy. Pati pala ke Mara nagparamdam din. Ke Kuya Avel din. Iba talaga ang nanay. Mommy, mahal na mahal kita. Sana ma-hug kita ng mahigpit. Kahit saglit lang basta hug me back, ha?
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Tags: Maria Ortega Manansala, missing mom so bad, mommy, mother
General Santos Time
October 20th, 2009 at 3:59 AM
i can totally relate. my mom passed away just this year and what pains me even more is that i wasn’t there beside her during the final moments of her life.
anyway, got ur link from gay’s blog na nakuha ko naman from my sis liezl’s blog.
hugs to you. kaya natin ‘to.
October 20th, 2009 at 5:17 AM
Such a touching blog post.
A good wake-up call to us who are fortunate to still have our parents around.
.-= Lyle´s last blog ..Nursing Seminar: Nursing Care of Kidney Transplant Patients =-.
October 20th, 2009 at 7:41 AM
@Lyle — so true. kaya go hug a parent today! keber na kahit taasan ka nila ng kilay…
October 20th, 2009 at 7:42 AM
@Chikai — am sorry about your mom… yeah, we will overcome. let us not however forget the good memories we’ve shared with our moms… thanks for visiting!
October 20th, 2009 at 8:08 AM
I am touched also with this write up. How i wish I could hug also my parents. They are now in Bohol, retired na from work for quite a time. I felt nostalgic.
.-= elmerceq´s last blog ..Update on the GSC Youth Achiever’s Award 2009 =-.
October 20th, 2009 at 8:18 AM
Am sure Mommy has never once released you in her embrace since that day that she passed away.
She might be gone physically but she is just around us, with Daddy, pleased and ecstatic that we have moved on and grown stronger as a happy and gay family.
Wag na lungkot ever so much sis, ok?
.-= bariles´s last blog ..Mateo Road’s Aimican Ladies Dormitory =-.
October 20th, 2009 at 8:38 AM
Just keep on with the good thoughts and times with your mom…That would be a good start to get over grief.
And yes, there’s no discouraging us from being a mom’s kid. So go hug your parents!
.-= Bonemd´s last blog ..Mt. Kalatungan-Mt. Wiji Travers Climb Itinerary and details =-.
October 20th, 2009 at 9:09 AM
@bonemd — thanks doc for visiting and very well said…
October 20th, 2009 at 9:09 AM
@bariles — dapat magpapayat na talaga tayo!
October 20th, 2009 at 9:11 AM
i can relate…just like my sis chikai said, our mama passed away just last march. until now, super sad ako and halos every night umiiyak. di ko rin sya na-hug madalas noon pati pagsabi ng i love u. kaya sa mga may mga nanay at tatay pa…go hug them and tell them u love them
.-= liezl´s last blog ..What’s Your Personality? =-.
October 20th, 2009 at 10:46 AM
Awwww. My bespren is sad… that is very okay. be weepy and sad but not for a long time…..
April 26th, 2010 at 8:57 AM
Ay, tumulo lang ng kusa ang luha ko while reading this ter. promise.
.-= Robstroy´s newest blog post ..Telephone (Official Music Video Parody) – Lady Gagita feat. Haronce =-.
April 26th, 2010 at 12:36 PM
@Robstroy — mao lagi ter uy… bisan ako na mismo nag-write ani kahilak gihapon mo each time i read it!
July 18th, 2010 at 9:41 AM
hayzz…. i miss my mom again today… ambot uy! kalagot! sige na pod kog hilak!
orman´s newest [type] post ..Pablo’s Steakhouse Lunch Buffet Treats