Missing Mom So Bad

mommymaria

I woke up feeling sad today. I miss my mom. She died last April 26, 2007. I miss her so bad that I cry just thinking about her.  With Tita Cory’s passing, I miss my Mom even more.  Sayang. Sayang is all I can say now. I wasted the times when she was alive and not bonded with her enough. I was too immersed with work that I unconsciously took her presence for granted. I miss the times when we used to talk. I miss her stories about her experiences as a teacher. Mom was an educator. She is the epitome of what a teacher should be.

Weeks before my mom died, she would complain about the pain she was feeling. I always tell her that it’s part of getting old. I was not too worried then because her recent check-up on her diabetes and hypertension showed improved results. I noticed that each time I stayed with her, she calmed down. She just wanted to hear my stories. She wanted to hear how my “new” job was coming along. She liked that. She always liked hearing my many adventures. She taught me to believe in myself. She told me that the secret to be successful is to love what I do. Mom instilled in me one important thing – to be ambitious and to aspire for excellence. But she would always tone down and say – BE HUMBLE.

I miss my Mom so much. During her last days, she would just sleep. We communicate by touch. Every time I visited her, I always say in a loud voice: “REPORTING FOR DUTY, MOMMY!” I would then hold her hand and asked her if she knows who I am. Her right foot would twitch. She did recognized me.

When it came to a point that Mom was struggling for air, I held her hand and told her that she can rest and that I will take care of my other siblings. A tear fell from her right eye. I knew then that she got my message.

I was working when I got the call. I left in huff. When I arrived, Mom lay peacefully in eternal sleep.

I miss you Mommy. Rest now. I love you very much.

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